Life is action and passion...

There's been a lot of talk about the election, in both real life and in cyber space. One of my favorite bloggers heidi8 recently asked her readers what their election playlist consists of. Songs such as Aztec Camera's "Good Morning Brittan" and Will.I.Am's "Yes We Can" were put forth, each one seeming to express a hope for the future. As a result of this thread I have been pondering my choice off and on. Finally this morning it dawned on me that the only song that truly expresses my feelings is Vonda Shepard's cover of "Baby Don't You Break My Heart Slow."

There's this line in rageprufrock's fic Hindsight that in many ways summarizes my feelings. It goes, "John wants to say, don't worry--my heart's been broken all this time, and I've been fine." What I realized today is that this is where I'm at in regards to our political system. I remember being a child and finding things like elections, Independence Day, and expressions of patriotism thrilling. In my youthful naiveté I believed there was no place on Earth equal to the United States of America. Now I'm an adult, and I don't believe in the system. I think the government doesn't do the things it should and does the things it shouldn't.

I can't exactly say when the shine came off, but at some point I realized my outlook had changed. I now felt that while idealism is usually well intentioned, it is also generally foolish and ultimately damaging. Those who are in politics are either corrupt or hamstrung to the point that their best intentions are ultimately useless. I believe one thing, power corrupts absolutely. I'm not sure how much I still like my country, much less believe in it. I still vote, I still salute the flag, but when our national anthem plays all I feel is tired and jaded. It is as if the wonder has gone out of the world.

My political history is as follows: When Clinton was elected in ’92 I was a rabid conservative. I listened to Rush Limbaugh with my dad and saw the liberal conspiracy everywhere. I had decided that when I went to college I wanted to go into political science. After leaving the Bible Belt and moving to Silver City, I was thrust into a completely different atmosphere. I learned that Democrats are people, too, and that I don’t have a problem with gay people getting married. At seventeen I was a libertarian. I felt the government needed to be trimmed, Democrats needed to keep their hands off my money, and Republicans needed to stop telling me what to do. I’m twenty-five now, an English major, and jaded. I keep looking into immigrating to Italy.

I am so tired of everything.

Quite honestly, I don't think we can change things. I think the same people are always in power, and they are usually not elected. Mr. Obama, I applaud your call to action, but in my heart I don't believe we can change the status quo. Everyone seems to have such great hopes for their choice of future president will be. If I were given a chance to be heard I would make one request of him, whoever it might be: Whatever you do, either for good or ill, do it boldly. Not everyone will like the things that you do, but Mr. President be bold. Don't break our hearts slow. and please, prove me wrong.