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inteligrrlYou ever have one ten minute thing that just ruined your entire day?
That's today. My entire day's been pretty good. Good lunch, fine classes, read a good story. All of it's been just fine, except for the fact that I've been in a haze of depression since I got my test back for World Civ.
There are two parts that you're supposed to do. A compare and contrast for Budhism and Hinduism, and a section for identifications. I got B+'s on both, which is great considering the guy's a really tough professor. Good huh?
Yeah.
But I also somehow missed the fact that I was supposed to do THREE identifications instead of just one. So right there I have two F's.
I always forget I don't handle things like this well. When I screw up I end up having that horrible pit feeling in my stomach for days on end. I really hate when it's something I know but I just had a blonde moment.
I understand that he really can't do anything about it. Making exceptions for just me would be wrong, and honnestly it was my screw up. But it just makes me sick because I know that material. I don't mind so much if I get a low grade because I didn't do as good a job on the assignment as I should have. If I screw arround and get a bad grade I don't mind so much. As long as it's an honnest grade I'll understand and resolve to do better next time, but this I can't deal with well.
I suppose the reason why I forget about how I deal with these things is because my parents aren't the supportive type. If I'm really upset about how I did on something what's my mother's first responce? Not 'oh, that's to bad' or any nice shit like that. She automatically goes all cold and berating (even though I know what I did wrong already) and starts telling me what I need to do and what I should have been doing. The only way I can deal with her and the dead/crushed/pit feeling is to repress everything as quickly as possible, so when I have to tell mother I can have reached that 'it's not a big deal, and I'll fix it later' point. When I'm there it's easier to not curl up and die when she starts in on me.
Is it so much to ask for someone to be supportive and sympathetic? Please?
That's today. My entire day's been pretty good. Good lunch, fine classes, read a good story. All of it's been just fine, except for the fact that I've been in a haze of depression since I got my test back for World Civ.
There are two parts that you're supposed to do. A compare and contrast for Budhism and Hinduism, and a section for identifications. I got B+'s on both, which is great considering the guy's a really tough professor. Good huh?
Yeah.
But I also somehow missed the fact that I was supposed to do THREE identifications instead of just one. So right there I have two F's.
I always forget I don't handle things like this well. When I screw up I end up having that horrible pit feeling in my stomach for days on end. I really hate when it's something I know but I just had a blonde moment.
I understand that he really can't do anything about it. Making exceptions for just me would be wrong, and honnestly it was my screw up. But it just makes me sick because I know that material. I don't mind so much if I get a low grade because I didn't do as good a job on the assignment as I should have. If I screw arround and get a bad grade I don't mind so much. As long as it's an honnest grade I'll understand and resolve to do better next time, but this I can't deal with well.
I suppose the reason why I forget about how I deal with these things is because my parents aren't the supportive type. If I'm really upset about how I did on something what's my mother's first responce? Not 'oh, that's to bad' or any nice shit like that. She automatically goes all cold and berating (even though I know what I did wrong already) and starts telling me what I need to do and what I should have been doing. The only way I can deal with her and the dead/crushed/pit feeling is to repress everything as quickly as possible, so when I have to tell mother I can have reached that 'it's not a big deal, and I'll fix it later' point. When I'm there it's easier to not curl up and die when she starts in on me.
Is it so much to ask for someone to be supportive and sympathetic? Please?
