Stalkers are twats. A cautionary tale from inteligrrl.
| phour is stalking inteligrrl |
| phour’s REAL name : |
Alba Caldwell |
| phour’s REAL DOB : |
22nd November 1987 |
| Height :174 cm |
Weight : 106.0 kg |
| phour has dreamt about you : |
25 times |
| phour became interested in you : |
17th October 2004 |
| phour’s latest dream about you |
| phour and inteligrrl make passionate love on a condom strewn beach in Belgium to the sound of George Michael’s Careless Whisper playing in the distance. |
| This is how phour describes your relationship behind your back |
| ‘I don’t want to be just good friends. I want to be with her forever. To death to us part and all that.’ |
| phour’s been stealing stuff from your house too. |
| phour seems to get a thrill from continually stealing your toothbrushes. It is rumoured that phour uses them to scratch their ass. |
| They’ve even started modifying their body for you |
| phour had their nipples pierced to show you the true depths of their neverending love for you. |
| They sent the following message to you in a Valentines |
| If I can’t have you, nobody can darling. I’d advise you to committ these words to memory. |
| Testimonies about phour |
| kessie - Suicidal wreck |
| ‘I’m gonna kill inteligrrl for being such a snide fucker. Who does it think it is? I’d love to give her a right slap in the chops! phour is a brilliant person.’ |
| lunarennui - Overweight cult comedian |
| ‘I’m tired of hearing about of these allegations about phour. inteligrrl is a demented twat. Ignore her.’ |
| wikdsushi - Fathers goats |
| ‘Fucking hell! This is hilarious for all the wrong reasons. inteligrrl should really be in hospital receiving X-rays to the head.’ |
| cybele_san - Eats everything. |
| ‘phour’s obsession with breastfeeding should have acted as an insight into their warped mind. I can’t believe I overlooked it for so long. Jesus.’ |
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inteligrrl
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(no subject)
Date: 2006-05-14 11:41 am (UTC)Funny thing about that is I recall talking about it and actually I have a plan to get them done here in the future. I guess the idea stuck and I think it would be so pretty!!! Now the next step, getting up the guts to go get it done!
I promise you get to play as soon as they don't hurt!
Much love and lust!
Your Wife!
(no subject)
Date: 2006-05-14 10:40 pm (UTC)You know, Alexis and I were just discussing how we do the weirdest things with you(though unless you two have something worse than the Chris-Web-kiss thing, I think I've got her beat.) Miss you honey!
Your Last Call to The Police
"Police!?!? phour’s in my backyard again stealing clothes off of our washing line. This is the 10th time in a week for fucks sake."
phour’s Police File
phour poses no real threat to society at large, unless of course your name is inteligrrl. In that case, you are royally fucked.
Seriously, I laughed so hard at that. Of course we might not have the laundry issues if I didn't keep stealing your plaid skirt... mmmm... plaid love...
(no subject)
Date: 2006-05-15 12:14 am (UTC)Well, if anything it makes for great stories! Much like Squirrel Launching!
You can pity the squirrel after you stop laughing... I know I almost did.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-05-15 01:03 am (UTC)People have no sense of humor.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-05-15 04:20 am (UTC)Me must have another one coming up soon!
And since we're talking about cocks...
http://www.willywarmers.com/catalog/-rooster.shtml
Crazy crazy crazy,,,I can't believe I even know you guys.
Date: 2006-05-15 07:20 am (UTC)By the way,,whats the Chris Webb thing...mostly likely you're not going to tell me,,,,ok with that......but tell me this....does it have to do anything with..................bum bum bum.....
THAT HALLOWEEN?????????