Because I can't say it to her face...
Mar. 29th, 2003 09:30 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
inteligrrlYeah, we hurt your feelings but we were teasing. Hell, we were laughing the whole time about everything said, even what you said and that hurt like hell. Why do you not see when these things you say so matter of factly tear my heart out? The only thing I can do is joke about how mean you are, and this is what hurts you. We're mean to you? How blind can you be.
You know I've always suspected that the last thing I've done to make you proud was when I was six. You thought I was joking when I said that, but I wasn't.
You can say ever you want now though. Yes, it hurts, but I know that I'm a person of value now, even if you don't. When I was sixteen I took away your power to utterly devastate my life, and you know what? By the time I was seventeen I'd quit waking up in the morning and thinking "God I want to die", which I'd been doing since I was nine. I quit worrying about what you thought of me and started worrying about what I was.
You can say I'm as mean to you as you like, but I'm not going to feel that guilty, because I know how to really be mean. Who do you think I learned it from? But I'll never do that to you, no matter how much I want to, because I'm not that person. I'm a good person, I'm a nice person. No matter how much of a "morally disappointment" and whatever else you think I am.
You know I've always suspected that the last thing I've done to make you proud was when I was six. You thought I was joking when I said that, but I wasn't.
You can say ever you want now though. Yes, it hurts, but I know that I'm a person of value now, even if you don't. When I was sixteen I took away your power to utterly devastate my life, and you know what? By the time I was seventeen I'd quit waking up in the morning and thinking "God I want to die", which I'd been doing since I was nine. I quit worrying about what you thought of me and started worrying about what I was.
You can say I'm as mean to you as you like, but I'm not going to feel that guilty, because I know how to really be mean. Who do you think I learned it from? But I'll never do that to you, no matter how much I want to, because I'm not that person. I'm a good person, I'm a nice person. No matter how much of a "morally disappointment" and whatever else you think I am.