just because telling everything would take a novel...

[inteligrrl]

I have a summary of my miserable (sickly miserable) last week and a half nearly typed up, but I just have to say this:

When most people try to comfort me, or say good things about me I feel extremely uncomfortable and I don't really believe them. I just can't help but feel that they're lying if they don't try to tell me what I've done wrong to get there, and what I need to fix.

I'm so unhealthy, I want people feel I'm a disappointment to them before I'll even consider the fact that they might love, or even like me.

My mother has severely warped my reactions to almost everyone/thing.

(I'm not actually upset or anything, this is more of a general statement that I am alarmingly resigned to)

Comments

[lunarennui.livejournal.com]

yeah, it really sucks when you desperately WANT to be told how wonderful you are, yet when someone does you scuff your toe in the dirt and feel awkward and uncomfortable. it's a lose/lose situation.

EXCEPT after you've heard it so many times that you begin to believe it. from then on, it can only get better.

*hugs*

(and yes, you are a wonderful, beautiful person, and i am infinitely thankful that somehow we ended up as - thus far - internet friends. just knowing you're out there makes me smile. i love you. and you didn't do anything to make me say any of that except be yourself, so there.)