dreadfully tired of downloading 10.2.2 update...

Right, I just discovered Dan Savage, a sex columnist for Planet Out(I discovered him when he mentioned likable mormon missionaries in his headline, which is one of my weaknesses). He writes the most insane columns, mostly insulting those who write him with insane questions. He'll answer just about any question, and usually sarcastically. Here's a few quotes I picked up:

If you just can't live without your daily dose of Internet porn, PORN, do what I did: Buy yourself a laptop and take it everywhere.

(Those who know me will understand why that amused me...)

Confidential to all the Mormon parents out there who read my column: It's a big, dangerous world outside Utah, and people who welcome your boys into their homes may have more than Latter-day Sainthood on their minds.

Any advice on how I can quickly yet subtly cleanse my mouth after a long session of hair pie? I get harder than a cruise missile when I lick the quivering quim, and I feel like immediately entering and dropping my payload, but my girlfriend and I don't like to make out with all that nectar on my face. I've done the quick swipe with a towel, but that doesn't eliminate all the juice in and around my mouth. -- Better to Give Than Receive
When you're done chompin' on her hair pie, jump out of bed, dunk your head in a bucket of bleach, inhale, gargle and then jump back on the girlfriend. Lord knows it's what I would do if I had to lick something as grotesque-sounding as a "quivering quim." Ugh.

One of the ways people cope with horrifying holiday gatherings is by slipping away from mom, dad, siblings and grandparents for a little sleazy, furtive, life-affirming sex.

And last, but not least, a quote from epicyclical's LJ:

...drunken conversations with my hetero boy beta reader, Brian, who I have charged with the task of reading over DV and making sure Harry and Draco sound like...well, like boys...