inteligrrl | For ye shall know the truth...

Right, well if you've read the previous entry you can tell I've been struggling to correlate my actions and point of view with my beliefs. Although it would make my life easier not to believe that God exists, I simply can't deny him. I know it may seem foolish to worry about this to some of you, but God has always been a part of my life and to deny him now would be a betrayal of what I know is true. All I wanted was a reason to see that I had been operating out of a misunderstanding started by the fallacy of man's doctrines, rather than attempting to rebel against God for my own ends.

I suppose I'd finally reached the point where I was ready to deal with those issues. After a few days of internal struggling I was granted a bit of peace when an acquaintance sent me the link to Whosoever. This was exactly what I had been looking for. It addressed most of my doctrinal issues and has helped reassure me immensely.

I know this all seems a bit ridiculous as I'm just a bi girl who's never had a real relationship with anyone male, much less female, but I suppose I thought I might as well deal with it now, as opposed to a time when I was actively involved with someone. At the very least I don't have to feel guilty for knowing I lean in both directions, rather than just the acceptable one.

I wasn't really worried about the whole mental illness aspect, I just wanted to use that as an illustration of how incorrect my families attitudes are towards homosexuality. It's not a place I can turn to for help, or really ever expect acceptance from.