inteligrrl (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
inteligrrl) wrote2010-02-25 04:16 am
inteligrrl) wrote2010-02-25 04:16 am
Internet forwards and rampant sexism
Internet forwards: Everyone gets them. The older generation and those new to the internet seem to love them. Once every couple of months I get spammed with the same one from six different people. Normally I don't read them, but I was bored and opened this one. Reading it was an exercise in frustration, but commenting was quite cathartic.
The Man Rules: A woman's response
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down finally, the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear the rules from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered '1 ' ON PURPOSE! they're really not, but I'll grant you someone may have edited this at some point... badly
1. Men are NOT mind readers. - perfectly reasonable. For the record, neither are we, so shall we both give up the whole passive aggressive thing? Okay, on three then...
2. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. - so long as you clean up the pee you left on the rim.
3. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. - Get your own snacks and don't expect me to clean up afterward and we're good.
4. Crying is blackmail. - screw you very much insensitive jerk.
5. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
Okay, I want you to do the dishes, take me out dancing, and have a conversation that doesn't revolve around sports, your buddies, or people you consider to be "morons." And look, I was up front and you still ignored me. Apparently nothing works.
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
2. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. - I'm not even going to touch how sexist that comment is, but you're on thin ice buddy.
3. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days. - Or, you could think before opening your mouth, take responsibility for your attitude or reaction issues, and, imagine this, sincerely apologize. Saying sorry once and doing it again later kind of kills any thoughts of forgiveness we might have had.
4. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. - WRONG ANSWER. Seriously, did your mother teach you no manners? Admittedly, it may be annoying to be forced to reassure a woman that she's perfect and beautiful once in a while, but imagine being a woman and having that level of insecurity about your own value reinforced by the world in general every day of your life. Be nice, pay attention to your girlfriend instead of the television for once, and tell her she's beautiful and appreciated once in a while and maybe she won't be quite so anxious about her own value.
5. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one! - Nice way to dodge responsibility for your words and make women look irrational at the same time. Really, are you always this classy?
6. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. - Or you could just double check that the placement's correct before hanging the picture on the wrong wall. But you obviously know what you're doing, so don't listen to me... oh that's right, apparently you don't anyways.
7. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials. - Honey, I'm leaving you for my therapist. I may only see him once a week, but the way he listens to me I just feel like we have so much more of a connection... Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize Lost was on, I'll tell you later.
8. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. - hey, I brought a book, so what do I care if we spend an extra half hour getting there. Be as lost as you like, I've still got another 600 pages of War and Peace to get through.
9. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. - And this is why you aren't allowed to decorate the house or shop by yourself.
10. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. - good to know I'll need to find alternate companionship for nice events with civilized people. I suppose we can still go bowling together, you should blend right in.
11. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. - That's okay, once I've stewed it over for a bit I'll tell you just how much this list of yours has pissed me off. Nothing really means "I'm not ready to talk about it yet" 90% of the time, just fyi. But feel free to deliberately ignore how irritated I am, I'm sure that will help me get over any second thoughts I had abut yelling at you much faster.
12. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear. - Same here, but you aren't allowed to sulk afterword either.
13. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really. - huh, I suppose that's right. You're going to oogle the pretty waitress even if I do look my best, so perhaps I should just adopt the tshirt/trucker hat combo you're sporting. It's not as if it should matter, we're only going to the Winchester again anyhow. Feel free to ignore me if I drink too much and begin to wonder what my life has turned into as the night goes on.
14. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football or NASCAR. - Just to clarify, I need to save intelligent conversation for the kids and every other week get-togethers with my girlfriends. Understood.
15. You have enough clothes. - you don't.
16. You have too many shoes. - But the new Fuevlog collection distracts me from thoughts of smothering you to death in your sleep.
17. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! - I'll grant you that point if you'll sign this contract saying that if I follow your example you will never leave me for a younger, thinner, prettier woman, or complain to your friends that I've "let myself go." Let's not have double standards here.
18. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight... But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
Thank you for writing this, its good to have evidence in writing how sexist, inconsiderate and selfish you are. And since you posted it on the internet, the next time my girlfriends tell me I should leave you because "I could do better" they will have written proof to stop all those "he probably didn't mean it" or "I'm sure he actually cares" arguments.
P.S. - The couch? How about your mother's. She babied you enough during your formative years I'm sure she'd love to do it again, talk to me when you're ready to grow up. And take your laundry with you - you may not wear diapers, but I'm not dealing with your skid stains.
I feel better.
The Man Rules: A woman's response
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down finally, the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear the rules from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered '1 ' ON PURPOSE! they're really not, but I'll grant you someone may have edited this at some point... badly
1. Men are NOT mind readers. - perfectly reasonable. For the record, neither are we, so shall we both give up the whole passive aggressive thing? Okay, on three then...
2. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. - so long as you clean up the pee you left on the rim.
3. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. - Get your own snacks and don't expect me to clean up afterward and we're good.
4. Crying is blackmail. - screw you very much insensitive jerk.
5. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
Okay, I want you to do the dishes, take me out dancing, and have a conversation that doesn't revolve around sports, your buddies, or people you consider to be "morons." And look, I was up front and you still ignored me. Apparently nothing works.
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
2. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. - I'm not even going to touch how sexist that comment is, but you're on thin ice buddy.
3. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days. - Or, you could think before opening your mouth, take responsibility for your attitude or reaction issues, and, imagine this, sincerely apologize. Saying sorry once and doing it again later kind of kills any thoughts of forgiveness we might have had.
4. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. - WRONG ANSWER. Seriously, did your mother teach you no manners? Admittedly, it may be annoying to be forced to reassure a woman that she's perfect and beautiful once in a while, but imagine being a woman and having that level of insecurity about your own value reinforced by the world in general every day of your life. Be nice, pay attention to your girlfriend instead of the television for once, and tell her she's beautiful and appreciated once in a while and maybe she won't be quite so anxious about her own value.
5. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one! - Nice way to dodge responsibility for your words and make women look irrational at the same time. Really, are you always this classy?
6. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. - Or you could just double check that the placement's correct before hanging the picture on the wrong wall. But you obviously know what you're doing, so don't listen to me... oh that's right, apparently you don't anyways.
7. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials. - Honey, I'm leaving you for my therapist. I may only see him once a week, but the way he listens to me I just feel like we have so much more of a connection... Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize Lost was on, I'll tell you later.
8. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. - hey, I brought a book, so what do I care if we spend an extra half hour getting there. Be as lost as you like, I've still got another 600 pages of War and Peace to get through.
9. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. - And this is why you aren't allowed to decorate the house or shop by yourself.
10. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. - good to know I'll need to find alternate companionship for nice events with civilized people. I suppose we can still go bowling together, you should blend right in.
11. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. - That's okay, once I've stewed it over for a bit I'll tell you just how much this list of yours has pissed me off. Nothing really means "I'm not ready to talk about it yet" 90% of the time, just fyi. But feel free to deliberately ignore how irritated I am, I'm sure that will help me get over any second thoughts I had abut yelling at you much faster.
12. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear. - Same here, but you aren't allowed to sulk afterword either.
13. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really. - huh, I suppose that's right. You're going to oogle the pretty waitress even if I do look my best, so perhaps I should just adopt the tshirt/trucker hat combo you're sporting. It's not as if it should matter, we're only going to the Winchester again anyhow. Feel free to ignore me if I drink too much and begin to wonder what my life has turned into as the night goes on.
14. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football or NASCAR. - Just to clarify, I need to save intelligent conversation for the kids and every other week get-togethers with my girlfriends. Understood.
15. You have enough clothes. - you don't.
16. You have too many shoes. - But the new Fuevlog collection distracts me from thoughts of smothering you to death in your sleep.
17. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! - I'll grant you that point if you'll sign this contract saying that if I follow your example you will never leave me for a younger, thinner, prettier woman, or complain to your friends that I've "let myself go." Let's not have double standards here.
18. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight... But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
Thank you for writing this, its good to have evidence in writing how sexist, inconsiderate and selfish you are. And since you posted it on the internet, the next time my girlfriends tell me I should leave you because "I could do better" they will have written proof to stop all those "he probably didn't mean it" or "I'm sure he actually cares" arguments.
P.S. - The couch? How about your mother's. She babied you enough during your formative years I'm sure she'd love to do it again, talk to me when you're ready to grow up. And take your laundry with you - you may not wear diapers, but I'm not dealing with your skid stains.
I feel better.